Sunday, December 21, 2008

Merry Christmas

December has not been a good month for me! I have been busy with work, but at home I can't seem to get into the spirit of Christmas! I am missing Pete so much and everything I see, touch, hear, taste or feel, makes me cry! I have been doing better for the last week or so, but I am not very Merry! I did get my shopping done yesterday and that was an all day event. Left at 10:30am and got done at 5:30pm. I was bound and determine to finish it. Went to church this morning and after I sort some laundry, I will be wrapping gifts for the entire day and night. I have missed the blogging, but I just seemed to distracted to really post anything readable! Most of all I wanted to wish each and everyone of you a Merry Christmas! You have all made an impact in my life. God sends good people my way! I hope that once I get through Christmas, I well better be able to move on! My husband sent me a message. I walked into the bedroom closet a couple of days ago. His side of the closet has a wood bar and it broke right in the middle and all of his clothes cascaded onto the floor making a huge mountain of clothes. Yes, they are still there. I think he says perhaps I should go through some of this stuff cause there is no where else to hang it. The pile does serve a purpose, really! I am short, and I keep sheets on a shelf above his clothing. I don't have to drag a stool in there to get sheets. I can just climb the mountain of clothes and I can reach the sheets!! May God Bless You All!!


Scarlet said...

Marla, I can't even imagine what this season has been like for you, but I want you to know that I've been thinking about you and praying for peace to come into your heart (and if God can squeeze a little joy in there, too, that would be nice).

I know your husband was a big part of your Christmases and I hope you find comfort in remembering the good times you shared together.

That was a cute message he sent you, btw. :)

Merry Christmas!

Granny Annie said...

I have found myself wondering on several occasions about how you were doing. Everyone knows this has to be a difficult time for you and we are pulling for you in many ways. Chin up as you fill our prayers and well wishes this holiday season.

Lanny said...

I was so glad to sit down and see that you had posted today. I have been thinking of you a lot, because of the recent and incredible loss you bear you having been coming to mind every time I think of my own people I am missing.

I am praying that you are given the gift of comfort and peace this Christmas.

Jamie Dawn said...

I think it's good for you to cry and cry some more.
Those tears are a reflection of your grief and the significance of your loss. You have known the joys of Christmas for years, and you still have that joy deep down in your heart, it is just being overshadowed by sadness because you miss your husband so much.
You are so used to having him with you during Christmastime, that it just seems out of whack to be celebrating it without him. I know you will have some Christmas joy from your family and friends, but a part of your heart is broken due to your loss.
I pray God will bring you the comfort and joy that you need and that you will look forward to the New Year with hope and expectation.

possum said...

Sweet heart - I for one know exactly where you are coming from, but you do have your kids. I lost my boys, too. The first Christmas is the hardest - the first anything. The next one really will be easier, and then easier still... and that won't mean that you love him any less - just that you are getting your strength back. He will be proud of you.
Didja ever think someone else, especially in these hard times, could use his clothes? Maybe he was telling you it is time to let some of them go. I saved a few of my husband's shirts and I wear them over my other things from time to time. One shirt is really almost ragged now, but I often pull it on in the morning over my night gown when I first get up. I wear it when I check my email and sip my first bit of tea and feed the cats. It hangs to my knees but that is all right. When it gets too ragged, I will retire it. But one thing I have found, and I have had unfortunately a lot of practice with this - the sooner you give some of the stuff away, the easier it is. I mean, I could not wear his pants or his shoes or his overcoat... so why keep them when there are people who could use them? I will confess also - I sent some of his more notable things to a thrift shop far away from here because I just did not think I could walk into a store and see that same shirt walking down the aisle in front of me.
Forgive me if I have spoken out where I had no business...
I made myself a sign, well, more than once, that said - This Too Shall Pass... and even tho I did not believe it at first - it did. I still have grieving issues and my "moments" but they are fewer and I can bounce back faster today. Bless you. I will keep you in my prayers.

Ralph said...

I imagine this will be a hard Christmas for you. We will be praying.
I am not ready for Christmas but suppose it is going to happen wheither I am ready or not.
Blessing upon you and your this Christmas Season.

Chatty Kelly said...

Marla - I hope that you will be able to enjoy memories of Christmases past, as you get throught this Christmas.

Thinking of you.

Janell said...

I'll never forget what my Emily said. When she was about 10 years old, my brother Bob died at 46. When Em saw my mom crying, she said, "I guess the tears must wash the sorrow out of Grandma's head."
Go ahead and cry. God bless you. We are thinking of you and praying for you. I know this first Christmas without Pete will be difficult, but I also believe that you have the true meaning of Christmas in your heart through your faith. And that is giving you the strength you need.
Love you. Call us and come on out if you get lonesome.

Suzy Wess said...

Hi Marla,
Just thinking about you today. Hope you had lots of company and activity to keep you going these past couple of days.

Take it easy and I'll be praying you through the holiday season.


Jim said...

Marla, I am sorry I didn't get here before Christmas to wish you well. The year of my divorce was terrible for me. To make matters worse, I had been drifting away from the Lord's protection after the divorce.

The next year was better, in fact I did some things with my kids part of the day.

I am glad you went to church. Church friends are very good at lifting us up at times when we are feeling low. That is one of the duties of Christian is to encourage the fellow Christians.
Mrs. Jim's Sunday school class is excellent at this, I can always tell when they are praying for me. My class is older and more sedate but they pray just as well.

A lot of your blogging friends pray for you and your situation too. I pray.

I am sorry about the closet rod. Having the clothes taken or given is very hard. We still have a lot of Mrs. Jim's mother's clothes here, they are just hard to depart with. I sneaked some off to our storage garage but I couldn't get away with much.

Since I missed Christmas I will wish that your holidays be 'bright.'
And thank you so much for sharing.

Cliff said...

Thanks for sharing your deepest thoughts here Marla. I can only imagine the difficult time you've had. Just being able to write it down must be of great help.
Pete won't be gone until you quit thinking and talking about him. Which is never. What a sorry situation it would be if you didn't miss him.
Our prayers go out to you.
I hope all else is going okay for you. What an overwhelming time in your life. You're a tough one Marla.

david santos said...

Happy New Year....

Smooth Sailing said...

Hi Marla,

Funny, my mom used to "talk" to my dad all the time. In fact when the family was picking out her casket a funny thing happened. We just couldn't decided. Then when we saw one with flowers embossed on it (she was an avid gardner) my dad's beeper started going off..and there was no number! We knew she was sending us a message.

He is so close to you and I'm sure misses you as much as you do him. How blessed you are to have a soul mate like that.

Have you read the book "90 min in heaven". You should. It's wonderful!

May the Lord's peace be with you always.

Edie said...

Hi Marla, Thanks for coming by my blog today and leaving your comment. I wish I could give you a big hug. I'm so glad you knew the Presence of Christ with you this Christmas.

I would like to give you something if you want it. Would you email me via the Contact Me button on either of my blogs please?

Rich blessings to you as He brings you into the new year.

Lanny said...

Thanks for the visit today. Yes, we all had a very good Christmas and are hoping for a splendid arrival of the New Year!

I pray that your Christmas went well. And that you find many things to look forward to in the New Year. Things you did before and things that will be new.

You and my landlady/neighbor/grandma-to-my girls have been on my mind and in my prayers this season. As I have said before, I miss those who have gone on before me but I cannot imagine the loss of my very own flesh.

Peace be with you.

Lanny said...

PS Having never been in Nebraska, or anyplace near by, I was wondering what sort of winter birds you have there. I noticed a while back in your profile that you garden and so I figured you notice birds too. We listened to our "birding by ear" tape today while riding in the truck (it lives in there) and the girls and I were talking about what it must be like to see a whole different set of birds than we do here.

Any-who just wondering. Have a great day.

Jim said...

Hi Marla, thank you for the send off. You be good while I'm gone.

Jo said...

I am so glad that you stopped by to visit me and left a message for me. That way I was able to find my way to you.

Losing a loved one is difficult enough in itself, but the holidays are always the roughest. The good news is that life does go on and the pain lessens as that happens. The memories will always be there to draw happiness from even if they seem to bring you unhappiness now. Strange how that works.

I am hoping that you will come back to visit from time to time.

Edie said...

Hi Marla. I hope I didn't offend you or cause you to be concerned. I felt that God was prompting me to offer to make over your blog for you (no cost) that's all. Sometimes a new look lifts our spirit just a little. Perhaps He wants to give you a daily reminder of His love for you.

I will leave the offer open to you. Pray about it. It's ok if you don't want it too. :)

Philippians 4:8
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Ramblings of a Villas Girl said...

Hi Marla! 2008 was a rough year for you. It isn't easy losing someone you love. Just know that we are here for you. I know that sounds stupid. I remember after my mom died, (my dad and brother had already passed), night time was the hardest. But I knew my friends were there if I needed them. This made the tough times a bit easier to bear. So just know that we are here for you when you need us.

Wishing you a better 2009 that is full of laughter, love and hugs. :o) Lisa

Lucy Stern said...

It takes a good while to get over those feelings of loneliness. The first year is always the hardest...

Years ago, when my mom died, dad just couldn't go through her clothes. My sisters and I had to clean out her closet. It wasn't easy for us, but it was worse for dad.. Mom used to save important papers in her old purses.....We had to go through them all and clean out the papers...If it weren't so sad, it would have been funny....

I hope your Christmas has been good in spite of it all. Happy New Year too. Hang in there.