Saturday, February 14, 2009

Alive and Well, Ok sort of!

My computer is finally fixed. I am way behind on reading blogs and posting for this month. My son took me out for supper last Saturday. We went to Omaha to the Cheesecake factory and we had a nice time. Seth loves to go out to eat and he loves to try new and different things. I feel better today, I had a terrible week. Work stressed me out terribly this week, I had a meltdown. I took a vacation day yesterday, but we had to close anyway due to the snow storm. My boss happened to call me at work on Thursday, that was the day of the meltdown. He called really to touch base on the budget. I had him on the phone so I opened my mouth and let everything flow. He was very encouraging and he told me I am way to hard on myself. I fell like I should be making more progress at work, but it is a tough place with staff who don't follow directives or don't think they need to be accountable. I try not to let work stress me that much and I try to remain calm, but the week just didn't let me do that! Feb. 10th last week was 5 months that my honey passed away. I know that was in the back of my mind. It seems like only a few weeks ago, but 5 months already! It doesn't seem possible. I guess an occasional melt down is ok. He said I don't have as many as the other directors do! After the phone call he said , why don't you just get out of there and go home. It was only a half hour early, so I grab my purse and ran for the door!! I have Monday off , I so need a break from that place!! Hopefully, I can catch up on checking in on all of you! Somebody Loves me, my youngest son and his girlfriend left me an orchid plant, it was nice surprise to wake up to on this Valentine's day.


Granny Annie said...

Marla, we're all thinking of you! Valentine's Day can't be the easiest to get through.

Loving Annie said...

5 months is nothing. I agree with your boss, you are being waaaaay too hard on yourself.
Only Sally Field recovers and has a flawless life after a few months of widowhood - and that's in the movies.

It hasn't been 5 years, after all - which WOULD be a tad too much of deep grief - but even then you are ALWAYS going to ahve your memories.

Work stress is frustrating no matter what, and Valentine's Day is always hard when you are on your own.


Cliff said...

Happy Valentines day Marla. Will you be my Valentine?
When I was in country school, we got and gave valentines to everyone in school and it seemed I'd sit and look at the cards and hope the ones from the pretty girls like you were real sentiments. They usually weren't. Hang in there. It sounds like progress and that's the right direction.
I see we have a meeting together next week. See you there.

Lanny said...

Ugh work. Do you wish you could just physically knock some heads or what?! I will be praying that you find a miracle pill to feed your staff and they become the staff that you need them to be, that they ought to be. I can well imagine that work experiences like that make wishing you could fly back in time even more poignant. I am glad to hear that your children are taking care of you and your heart.

Edie said...

I've been thinking about you and praying for you all day today Marla.

You have a very kind boss. I used to work at a place where everyone did what they wanted and there was no accountability or structure. I was the only one there who saw a purpose in structure and it drove me crazy. I was so thankful when God finally said it was time to quit that job.

He will see you though. I'm glad you have supportive people around you. God bless!!

LL Cool Joe said...

5 months is nothing!

I had a really good friend that I lost about 7 months ago. A few days will go by and I don't think about them and something happens and I do, and I have a complete meltdown. I remember writing to a friend saying "I should be over this by now! It's 7 months ago, what's wrong with me?"

And that was just a friend, not my life partner.

I'm glad you received something special on Valentine's Day. We all need that whether it's from a lover, a friend, our kids etc. We all need to feel loved. :)

Tabor said...

It appears that you have a sensitive and understanding boss and you should thank him for letting you blow at the end of the week. Give yourself more time and keep the goals realistic for you at this time. It will get better.

Rachel said...

Those dates have got to be so hard without your dear husband. I remember when my parents died all the holidays that first year were so awful to get through and the anniversary dates as well. After time it got easier but that first year was really TOUGH.

You have a nice boss which is a real blessing! Hang in there and try not to let the stress get to you too much. Take care of Marla!!!

Lucy Stern said...

I was wondering how you made it through Valentines day....It had to be hard with you sweetie on the other side.....

Take a deep breath and start your new week....I'm glad that you had an extra day off to wind down. Take it easy and just do the best that you can.....Be careful with that Cliff, he's a married

Nadine said...

Five months is not a very long time at all when dealing with a loss so close to your heart. My heart and prayers are with you at this time.

Jim said...

Hi Marla, thank you very much for the heads up.
You and you along can have rights to play that beach sound rolling in (music??) over and over if it will help you feel calmer and can relax some. You may even make a tape and take it to work.
Just you though.

It probably is good to let him know how things are going. A lot of people won't and either they get ulcers or quit.

Paul Nichols said...

I just read all these comments. You've got lots of thoughtful friends. You're blessed. Perhaps some of your honesty and strength will rub off on all of us. God bless.

Ramblings of a Villas Girl said...

Hi Marla! Dinner with your son sounded like a fun time. The Cheesecake Factory?? Ummm.
I can relate to work stress and people not be wanting to be accountable. Hang in there and take a mental health day now and then. They do work wonders.
I wish I could say something regarding your loss. I can only speak from losing my parents and brother. Holidays and birthdays are tough. Time does ease the hurt, but it never really does go away. I just tried to remember the good times.
The orchid plant sounds beautiful. If you can, post a picture.

I am going to love my deck. I fired up the grill tonight. Already planning where my flower pots are going. Although I am not rushing the weather. I love spring, but hate summer. To bad we don't live near one another. It would be nice. You could come over and share the deck, music and a nice grilled meal with me:o) Lisa

Winifred said...

My only five months and you're doing so much. You're boss is right, give yourself a break and go easy on yourself.

It's so hard when you're team isn't performing as you want them too. It takes time so, just take your time.

Mary said...


I don't think I could oversee employees in today's workplace. I am from the old school and think people need to do their job and be accountable. I would freak out on them. I guess it's a good thing that I'm out of the work force.

My heart goes out to you. I lost my first husband when I was very young and it is difficult, to say the least. I've added you to my prayer list. Keep your eyes heavenward.


Scarlet said...

You are alive and well and LOVED, my friend. ;) E-mail me if you want my # and we'll chat from time to time. You are doing FANTASTIC after all you've gone through. You're an inspiration!

Jamie Dawn said...

You're entitled to a meltdown now and then. It sounds like you are overseeing some undisciplined people which is making your job really hard.
Five months is not very long. The loss of your dear husband is still so fresh in your memory. The one year anniversary of his death will be here before too long, and that will be so difficult. You will miss him for the rest of your life, no matter how much time passes or how well your heart is able to heal.
You had real love between you, and that is worth remembering forever.
I am so glad you have a loving family there to take you out to eat and leave you orchids and hug you and love you.
Your blog buddies care about you too!!

Janell said...

Bless you Marla; I hope this past week has been "metldown free" for you! Going to the Cheesecake Factory with your son sounds fabulous!


Hello Marla:

I'm Stephanie and I'm a Child of the King. I am also a widow of 2 plus years. The first 6 months were the hardest for me too - so hang in there. It does seem to ease up a bit after that. Edie has been following my Blog and she wanted to introduce us. So I'm happy to meet you and I'll be praying for you as well. It's tough being a woman and a widow in this day and age. I don't wish to have that 'label tag' forever attached to my name - but for now it is part of my circumstances at the moment. God knows all about it and He's been my faithful husband since He took my Bob to be with Him in glory!

May our meeting be by His Hand and for His purpose.

Looking UPward and Choosing JOY,