I finally got out of the house this weekend. Don't get me wrong, I do get out of the house to work every day and to the grocery store. But Saturday my youngest sister Lynn and her husband Curt took me out for supper. We just stayed in town, because it was snowing and went to the new steak house here in Fremont. We had a nice evening, good food, conversation and some good laughs. I think I really needed that. I have only been out twice since Pete's death in September. I feel like I experienced a moment of freedom. My brother-in-law Curt said after our meal he was going to take me somewhere really special. Well we went to Walmart, now wasn't that special. I really don't like Walmart and that's probably why he said it. They had to pick up a few things, before the took me home. It was a good night! Lynn and Curt have really been great support for me and I love them both dearly. I have many things to post about and some of them will be about my husband. You will just have to bear with me as I journey into a new phase in my life. Thank you all for your support and know that you all bring me comfort and great encouragement. Why pay for a grief counselor when I get all of you for free!! Blessings to all of you!
I have the blues tonight, again! I can't seem to shake them! Seems that they come and go quite frequently. I miss my best friend! I miss him sitting at the kitchen table when I walk in the door from work. I miss the pot of coffee he would have waiting for me when I got home from work. I miss his snoring, I really do! I miss his scratchy moustache kisses. I miss his gentleness. I miss his freezing feet in my bed. I miss the morning kiss and goodbye, have a good day. I miss his quiet laughter and his smile. I miss him teasing me. I miss not having anyone to be with. I miss his hugs. I miss not having him here to care for. I miss conversations. I miss being a wife!
Although he lives in my heart, I miss the Love of my Life!!
I know a young woman who has started a blog. She is very dear to my heart, like a daughter to me. She hasn't had any visitors except me. I thought maybe some of you good people would go visit her and encourage her to continue with this new adventure. Go visit Arlene!
I was reading the news today and I read about the famous I double dare you to lick the pole. So of course this 4th grader licks the pole and it was 10 degrees outside. I had to laugh, not that it is funny to laugh at some one's pain. I was just reminded of a few years back when one evening I received a phone call from the my grandson's mother, and she was panicky. My grandson Cain was sledding and although he wasn't double dared, for some reason he decided to lick the light pole at the sledding hill. He pulled his tongue off but his tongue was bleeding. He thought he needed to come and get Grandma's advice. He was crying when he got here with his tongue bleeding and all skinned off. I held him awhile and got a cool cloth for him to suck on. There isn't much to do except put up with a sore tongue for a few days. I thought that he should go home and take some Tylenol, and stay home from school the next day and eat some soft foods like pudding till his tongue healed. He thought that was a great idea. He did get to stay home for the torment that he put himself through. I asked him why he licked the pole, he said he didn't know why, he just did, but said he would never do that again. It was around Christmas when he did it. A few days later I got a Christmas card from my sister and on the front of the card was the boy from the Christmas Story with his tongue stuck to the pole. It was just funny because my sister didn't know anything about Cain licking the pole. Once and awhile I ask him if he has licked any poles lately, and he smiles and politely answers, No Grandma! When I go to his basketball game on Saturday I am going to be sure to tell him about yet another boy who licked a pole.
Medical bills, we all have them. I can say that I have had so many over the years that they fit into a small laundry basket. So many I couldn't keep them straight and it would take hours to pay a small bit on all of them. Almost 14 years of struggling with medical bills from Pete's ongoing bouts with cancer. We had good insurance but when treatments are weekly at 15,000 your 20% adds up quickly. Not to mention cat scans, pet scans , MRI's, stem cell transplant, etc. We could never get them caught up. It was a stressful situation for both of us. In January 2008 our niece had a benefit for Pete. I plan to write about it, perhaps this weekend sometime. We never spent any of the benefit money while Pete was living. Pete was working so we just kept making payments according to arrangements that were made with all of the many medical bills that we had. We thought we would only use the money when absolutely necessary. Perhaps when he got to sick to work anymore or if when he died I would need to pay off all of those bills. The benefit was a blessing because I was able today to sit down and pay off all of his medical bills as well as mine and still have some money left in the benefit account. So celebrate with me for the moment, this is the first time in 14 years that I don't have to pay on any medical accounts. I paid off 6 different accounts and I am free. The bad part is there will be more bills because I am now going to start taking care of myself. Starting with the dentist, and long overdue doctor appointments for me! But for the moment I'll celebrate!!
Early Saturday morning I was awakened by the dogs barking as if someone was on the front porch. I wandered into the living room, and looked out the window and there was a police officer on my front porch. When an officer is knocking at your door it is never a good thing! Of course I thought it was something with my kids, panic struck in! The kids were fine. He asked me if I had a red rocking chair. I was of course sleepy and responded no, I don't have a red rocking chair. He said- well there is a broken chair in the street and it matches the color of your mailbox and other chairs on your porch. Then it struck me, I have a read chair in a small flower bed in front of the house that I always put a flower pot on in the summer, scarecrow in the fall, etc. I asked him if he saw a chair there, he said no, and of course the vandals had taken the chair and broke it to bits. He picked up the pieces and set them near the house. I didn't file a report, there was no money value in it. Pete and I found it at a garage sale, it was rustic, and I painted it and it looked so cute out there! Sentimental memories stolen by some stupid vandals!! The officer told me that in the last few weeks there has been 30 reports filed for vandalism!! It just made me angry!! That's why young punks should not be out at 4:44 a.m. in the morning, they only can get into trouble at that hour!