Mission Impossible

I enjoyed Thanksgiving day with my family. We went to my sister Lynn's beautiful lake home. My parents were there and two of my sisters kids made it home. The food was great and I felt sick by the time I got home. Two of my sisters did not come and I wish we could have all been together. I am really missing my husband, it seems I am worse as the months go by! Work has been difficult and there is no one here to share that with when I get home. I was off yesterday so I did mega cleaning. The mission is to get this hell hole cleaned up and get the Christmas decorating done before Monday. I was scrubbing floors and rearranging furniture till 10 pm last night. I am ready to roll today as soon as my body wakes up! I have to drag 700 boxes down from upstairs. Normally my youngest son would be around to help, but since he does not live at home anymore, I can't be waiting till he shows up to do it! I will soon put on the Christmas music and I will be singing and dancing around the house as I get into the Holiday spirit. It isn't as much fun doing it all alone, but it will cheer me up. I love Christmas music and the best part I know all the words to every song. If I dance to much my dog will attack me, he plays really rough! I miss the kids be little and helping out! I haven't had the time to read any of your blogs for awhile. I must admit I really miss that! What the heck, I miss my blogging buddies. I just have been getting home late and going to bed. I hope things will improve at work and I will be able to get back into my normal routine.
My new job is beyond words, and I have never in my 50 plus years of life experienced anything like this before!!

Cell Phones

I am sure most of you all have cell phones. I had a cell phone but it was one of those trac phones, you know the kind that you buy a card for for so many minutes. Call me cheap or I just didn't have the need for one. I carried the trac phone only for emergencies. I figured that I commute all the time, so perhaps I should have a way to call for help if my car broke down. I am not a big talker, well that is, on the telephone. I do talk allot person to person! My husband used to say how can you possibly think of so much to talk about! He was a quiet and shy guy! With my other program that I directed, my team could handle anything so they rarely had to call me! If I wasn't home they left a message and I would get back to them. They would just give me a heads up on on issue, and they usually knew how to handle things. With this change of jobs mu boss figured that I would probably need to carry a cell phone and perhaps even have it turned on, imagine! So I did it, I am a proud owner a real cell phone, with a bill that comes in the mail! I purchased two other phones for early Christmas gifts for two of my kids who couldn't afford them. I hated not being able to get ahold of them when I needed to! They came for supper on Sunday and I told them Santa came early, they couldn't have been happier! Then they left!! I figured out a ring tone and how to turn the thing on. It has a camera, which I will never figure out! The thing frustrates me already. I haven't even had a call on it yet! I called myself just to make sure I had the volume on! I will need to call the kids over and have Cell Phone 101 classes. I did announce at a meeting today with other directors that I'm moving on up now in the world, with a cell phone! Pathetic or cheap? I don't know, perhaps a little of both.

Busy, Busy!

I have been way to busy lately to find time to do a meaningful post! Yes, I missed the Sunday Post, Experiencing God! I will get back to doing that when I get into the groove of my new job. My first day was fine, and I have today off. The next three will be long and not as pleasant, lot's of meetings. I have lots to do today, trying to take care of things in regards to the business end of my hubby's death. Making all the calls that I can't do at work. Some of you have asked what song was playing when Pete and I had our last dance. I don't know, it didn't matter, and I am not sure that I heard music! I was caught up in the moment of the embrace! There must of been music, cause my mom and dad were dancing next to us in the photo!

The Dash

Since the death of my husband I have been reflecting on what I have accomplished with my life. I wonder what people will say about me when I am gone. What will people say about you? Check this out!

The Last Two Days

I made it through my last two days at work but not with dry eyes! On Thursday there was a little surprise party for me, back in the lunch room where the individuals and staff have breaks. When I walked in and one of the individuals that we support said, " Were going to miss you Marla!" That's all it took, I totally lost it, I had to leave the room briefly, and with tears streaming down my face. I walked back down the hall and gained my composure. I headed back to the lunch room and was able to sit and visit and enjoy the morning break with everyone. They had all kinds of cookies and bars, it was very nice. My team had someone take a photo of all of us together. They gave me a nice picture frame, black and white that says Faith, Family, and Friends. Under the word Faith, they place a photo of me wearing a big sombrero. The big sombrero was given to me by my team last year after our 2 day state re certification review. We received no citations. This was the first time in the surveyors career that he did not write any citations for correction. I was so proud of all our staff for the great work that they do! In fact we were the only ones in the state to have no citations. So my team brought me this sombrero and said I was the best head honcho they ever had! They said they placed that photo under Faith because they always had faith in me. Under the family photo, they took my family photo off my blog, under friends they placed the photo of all of us that we had just taken that morning. It is a great treasure to take with me to hang on the wall of my my new office. I had lunch at my parents that day. I told them that I wouldn't be having lunch with them on Friday, since my team was taking me to lunch on my last day. I have lunch with my parents most days unless I am out of town at meetings. I have been going there for 5 years now. I know that they have enjoyed having me visit with them over lunch over the years. My dad turned 80 in Sept. and mom is 76. They have been married 58 years. They are the best parents a girl could have. Well when I was ready to leave my mom hugged me and started to cry, and I could see tears coming from dad's eyes! I was crying and hugged them both again. I have been so grateful that I have gotten to spend this special time with them over the last 5 years. I will miss that time with them. I will have to make sure I head up that way on the weekends to visit them. They also come here, to help work in the antique store that my mom and sisters have. I may have to start visiting them at the store when they work Saturdays. I packed my car and headed home, and you guessed it, I cried like a baby half the way home. I have tears rolling down my checks as I am writing this. I just a big baby! I know I will be fine once I start my new job, but it's been rough these last two days!!

The Blues!

I really have the Blues tonight! I only have two days left in my current job with a group of people that I will be so sad to leave! My team is the best group of people that I have ever had the privelage to work with. I have always believed or heard that you shouldn't get to close to those you may have to fire! But I can't help it, I love these people and they really are great friends! I will begin a new journey on Monday. I am staying with the same agency, the same position that I currently have, just taking over a different area program. I am leaving a strong team of managers and a successful program and taking over a program that has had issues. One of the supervisors there will be moving into the position of Area Director. I know they all work together so well that the transistion will go well there. I will be using some of my team to come in to do some training and help me out in my new adventure. This has been an emotional roller coaster for me and I dread these last two days. I know I will be crying by the end of the day on Friday!!

Experiencing God!

I have decided that on Sundays I will post some stories about experiencing God. Some of these will be my own experiences and some will be from others who have shared stories. I have been meeting with a group of women, at my church in a small group and we are reading the book Experiencing God. This is the first small group that I have ever participated in. There are 7 of us in this group, different ages, and all of us on very different levels in our spiritual journeys.I have always believed in God, said a little prayer at night, but hadn't attended a church for many years.I realize that it is so much more than a prayer once a day. It has been in the last year that I have been growing stronger in my faith and have been thirsty for God's word! I found a great church and the pastor is a great teacher. I attend the modern service, which is a casual, no dress code environment. You sit at tables with coffee and doughnuts, they even serve a full breakfast once a month. The music is played by a contemporary rock band. Very different from the services I attended when I was younger. I read an article in the newspaper last fall about my Pastor. I just kept having reoccurring thoughts in my head that I should go check this church out. I finally did after many months. I know that I was sent there for a reason. I knew after attending a few services that this is the church that the Lord lead me to. My thirst to grow in my faith came over me as if the Lord himself, hit me in the head with a ruler, telling me to wake up!I suddenly became more aware of everything I said to people. At worked one day I had to tell my team one of those little white lies, something I wasn't supposed to let them know at the moment. After the meeting I was so aware of that white lie, because a lie is lie, in God's eyes. God reveals Himself to each of us in special and exceptional ways, so our perception of Him is unique! What I once thought was coincidental circumstances, I know now that it was an experience with God! I'll talk more of this in next Sunday's post! Iknow it's still Saturday, but I have a busy day tomorrow. The kids are coming for supper, so after church I will be cooking all day!

Last Dance

In August my niece Haley got married at my sister's beautiful lake home. It was an outdoor wedding. They had a huge canopy white tent set up on the grass, so you had a great view of the lake, the dance floor was laid upon the grass. The flowers on the tables were done by friends of my sisters, who went through every ones flower gardens, and since the river is on the other side of the lake homes, they gathered wild flowers and grasses and these flowers were gorgeous, each tables vase of flowers was a little different and unique. It was 95 degrees, so a hot evening. My husband usually goes to bed very early so I didn't anticipate that we would stay to long into the night. There was something special about the evening. Pete seemed to have this amazing spurt of energy, he looked so good that night. We danced a slow song and we haven't danced for many years. While we were dancing and holding each other so tightly, never wanting to let go of this moment, I was thinking this could be our last dance. I think we both knew this would be our last dance, clinging to each other never wanting this moment to end! I have this photo in the bedroom so I can see him holding me ever so tightly and I can still feel him holding me! The kids were in tears much of the night as Pete danced the night away. He was a good dancer at the fast songs, much better than I. The kids said he seemed to be having the time of his life. Pete said to me that night, " I just love weddings, everyone is so happy!" Not a profound quote by any means, but from his heart. He was happy, he was enjoying life for one last time. Twenty- two days after this night he began a rapid decline in his battle with cancer and passed Sept. 10th. It's amazing how one night in your life will make such an impact and I will carry it with me forever! My sister snapped the photo! I like it because I can see his face and he is holding me so tight. I know it's a photo of a backside, and those pants made my behind look huge!